LOCK AND LOAD

And then this, from the Brady Campaign to prevent gun violence

--end

NOR'EASTER NEWS?

It's spring! And all hell has broken loose with the weather.

Sunday late afternoon, and a creek two blocks away now resembles a river. It's at the highest point I've ever seen it, and we've been in the same house, on high ground, for 23 years. Our basement is taking on water, and the basement never does that.

The adjacent town appears to be flooded. It's not in a flood zone.

You know all that hot air about instant news? Twenty years ago, local radio and T.V. would have been all over this story. But on a New York all-news radio station just a few minutes ago, some ninny was prattling that "at least it isn't snow!" (Got news for you, radio-person: snow is a lot less worrisome than water in these conditions). As to actual news: Oh, it's raining; the Mets game is canceled; some flights are delayed. Now onto that special report on nutrition for your rose garden.

The CBS online news site at this moment is the perfect lethargic example: The storm is "`unusual for this time of April. Normally, we're finished with this sort of thing by the end of March,' severe storm expert Lonnie Quinn said. "`Not only is this a late-season Nor'easter, it'll be a very significant one at that.' (© MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)."

Somehow, the Roman numerals in the copyright line seem very appropriate. JAYSVS!

Is anybody working this story? Do the media all take Sundays off these days?

All's I know is what I see from the house. That damn little creek is rising to where I've never seen it before. What's going on in actual flood zones? I mean, I've been in this business long enough not to overreact when it rains or snows. But this sucker? Hellooooo?

6:20 pm update: At least one local TV channel -- WNBC in New York -- is on the ball, with current, heads-up and grown-up reporting from the city and the Long Island and New Jersey coasts. This is one bad storm, and the flooding will be"coast-redefining," as they say. Not to mention snow in upstate New York! On April 15.

Meanwhile, the other New York channels all seem to be running basketball games or such, and the Weather Channel seems to be breathlessly consumed with speculation about Boston and the Boston Marathon.

So it goes, in tribute to Mr. Vonnegut.

--end

THE MORNING PAPERS

A couple of good stories from the weekend papers.

First is this from the Daily Mail in London, reporting that the knucklehead British defense ministry was cooking up a returned-hostages phony publicity campaign even as the Hollywood Hostages were still in the hands of the wily Iranians.

And I recommend Peter Applebome's column in today's Times, which has a lot to say about politically correct hostility toward the innocent Duke University lacrosse players. Especially impressive are the comments near the end by English professor Dr. Houston A . Baker Jr., who continues to refer to the totally exonerated young men as a "scummy bunch of white males" and "farm animals."

Incidentally, I was fascinated by how anyone employed as a professor at an actual college could be ... well, so damned thick. So I looked up the learned Doctor Baker on Amazon.com.

He's the author of a book, "Black Studies, Rap and the Academy," and refers to gangsta rap as a means "to provide sometimes stunning territorial confrontations between black urban expressivity and white law-and-order," and describes it as "a profitable, agential resource for an alternative American legality." Yes, you read that right: "... an alternative American legality."

Whoa, the perfect Santa stocking-stuffer for that impressionable English student of yours (ho-ho-ho).

Shortly after the incident early last year, and before any criminal charges were filed against the young men by the now-discredited district attorney, Duke University canceled the lacrosse season. Even then, the alleged rape victim's story was changing with some frequency and beginning to fall apart under examination.

Still, the Professor saw fit back then to denounce the university president, Richard H. Brodhead, for exhibiting "timorous piety" and "sentimental legalism" in failing to impose harsher penalties on the not-yet-accused students.

Professor Baker left Duke and now graces the faculty at Vanderbilt University.

...And finally, you might want to have a look at this story, on deadly mercenary security guards in Iraq, from today's Washington Post.

Later -- As the much-hyped nor'easter hits the Northeast, will the controversial and hugely expensive taxpayer funded beach restoration along New Jersey's (mostly-inaccessible-to-the-general public) seashore survive the weekend? Or will the coastal scientists and geologists who scoffed at the boondoggle be saying "Told you so?"

--end

WITCH HUNT

As predicted, now that the ludicrous Don Imus has been justifiably canned for making vile and bigoted remarks about a group of young black female basketball players, the witch hunt for cultural insensitivity is under way. That would be the witch-hunt that was called for by the odious Reverend Al "Tawana" Sharpton, back in the public pulpit once more, per usual to the benefit of nobody but himself.

("Thanks to Imus's stupidity, we are forced to pretend once again that Al Sharpton has moral capital," as Stephen Metcalf said in Slate)

Two examples of opening day of the new witch hunt from today's news:

The equally odious Tom DeLay wants Rosie O'Donnell fired because she made some jokes about George Bush and Chinese Americans.

And a terrific story in today's New York Times reports that a panel of lawyers censured Jackie Mason and Raoul Felder for writing a joke book that invokes "religious invective" and is also generally insensitive, as well as less than enthusiastic in portrayals of people such as Reverend Al. ("Praise the lard," they say of the Reverend -- in what I surmise is deemed by the censors to be an example of both "religious invective" and insensitivity toward lard-asses). The authors also are accused by the panel of lawyers of being insensitive toward the Reverend Jesse "Hymietown" Jackson and Senator Edward "Chappaquiddick" Kennedy.

“Who thought it was a good idea to make Jesse Jackson the arbiter of racial healing? That makes as much sense as Ted Kennedy being a lifeguard at a girls’ school,” the two accused insensitates crack in the book, in what strikes me as actually a pretty good joke.

Fetch the torches! Link

Oddly, little mention of gangsta rappers -- who use the word "ho" more often than Santa Claus -- in all of this commotion. (Though Senator Obama has been outspoken about rappers' ugly verbal abuse of women).

Of course, first we have to deal with that menace Jackie Mason. Ya know?

But always look on the bright side of life, as the boys on the crosses sing in "The Life of Brian."

Not to bring up the subject of odious lard-asses again, but Rush Limbaugh (surprise!) is horning in on the publicity and describing himself as a victim. "I know they're coming after me, folks," he confides on his blog, under those high-demographic ads for how to make money buying coins. The horror! The horror!

Meanwhile, the war in Iraq goes on while Reverend Al commands the cameras. At an airport last week I stood by a window and watched another military coffin wheeled by on the apron with a crowd of Marines and family members accompanying it, in the most striking state of human anguish.

--end

ALL'S I'M SAYIN' IS...

Now the media scolds are scurrying around looking for any and all examples of insensitivity amid the furor over Don Imus's completely odious and manifestly bigoted comments, which justifiably got him fired. Al Sharpton wants to begin a witch-hunt for what he deems to be insensitive comments, demanding a "broad discussion of what is permitted and not permitted" to be said in public. The media genuflect while, as always, they graciously overlook the Reverend's prominent role in, among many other disgraces, the hideous Tawana Brawley hoax, which he has always deftly managed to dodge any unaccountability for all these years.

Meanwhile, I am taken today by an item prominently displayed on the Romenesko news-media items site put out by the amusingly pretentious Poynter Institute (the headline on a top Romenesko item currently reads: "'Daniel Schorr Is My Role Model,' Says [David] Broder.")

Here's the top of the item in question:

"Former Chicago Tribune editor Howard Tyner says it never occurred to him that there was any kind of corporate glass ceiling for Jews, although 'I have to say there were times when I thought the Irish Catholic mafia was a little thick in there.'"

Jayzus and begorrah, and bless me twee Lucky Charms, whyzzit ok to deride an "Irish Catholic mafia?" And come to think of it, isn't using the word "mafia" to describe a wee group of people who share an ethnic background, but who belong to no criminal organization, a certifiably bigoted act?

Just asking, is all.

And another thing ...

Now, I'm not running another media blog here (God knows that's the last thing we need), but I am taken again today by an example of the scolding impulse in the news media that seems to have replaced the desire to first present the news.

Jon S. Corzine, the governor of New Jersey, was critically injured last night. The governor was a passenger in a state car that was sideswiped on the Garden State Parkway in an accident triggered by a driver of a pickup truck who abruptly pulled into traffic from the roadside and caused another vehicle to knock the governor's car into a spin. The pickup truck drove off.

Corzine was really severely injured -- fractured leg, 12 broken ribs, broken collar bone and more. He remains on a respirator. It's unknown when or if he will recover, at least fully.

And yet every online story I'm reading today on this event has the fact that Corzine apparently wasn't wearing a seat belt as a central element in the lead and in the headline. In most of the accounts, the seat-belt assertion is the news -- not the fact that this guy got royally clobbered and will be out of commission for months. At best.

Come on, scolds! Let the poor man at least stabilize before lecturing, right off the bat, that it's his own damn fault.

Can we maybe focus on whatever efforts the New Jersey state police are making to find the pickup driver before we speculate on when the governor might be given a ticket for not wearing his seat belt?

[Update April 14: the driver was found Friday night in Atlantic City and not charged in a hit-run after he told police he wasn't aware he'd caused the accident, the AP reports today, in a story that oddly continues to quote police saying the pickup was driving "erratically."]

Can we be decent enough on the first day to put the seat-belt knuckle-rapping in .. maybe the second paragraph? Sure, do a sidebar on how stupid it is not to wear a seat belt ... maybe tomorrow, after the poor guy regains consciousness and can be properly scolded with his eyes wide open.

And finally:

Link of the day: Bill Maher -- Salon

--end

UPGRADES TO DIE FOR

International competition is more fierce each month, especially in the premium cabins. Here's a pretty impressive business-class fare sale, especially since it includes travel during the summer:

British Airways, whose Club World business class cabin is among the best in the business, has a fare sale for Club World for travel to London during July and August (through Sept. 2). Sample one-way fares are $1,116 from New York; $1,574 from Chicago; $1,417 from San Francisco. (Don't ask me why it costs more to fly from Chicago than San Francisco). That doesn't include the taxes and fees. Must be booked by April 26. That normal fare, unrestricted, is in the $9,000 range round-trip, but business class demand typically declines sharply in summer.

Meanwhile, Silverjet, the newest all-business-class low-fare airline, said it had a 59 percent load factor in March, slightly higher than expectations. Silverjet flies betweeen Newark and Luton Airport in London at a standard round-trip fare of $1,798. Its competitors among new discount all-business class airlines to London are Eos and MaxJet.

And now here is a unique way to score the ultimate upgrade, to British Air's very exclusive first-class cabin, via the Times of London earlier this month:

"A British Airways passenger travelling first class has described how he woke up on a long-haul flight to find that cabin crew had placed a corpse in his row.

"The body of a woman in her seventies, who died after the plane left Delhi for Heathrow, was carried by cabin staff from economy to first class [and] propped up in a seat, using pillows.

"The woman’s daughter accompanied the corpse, and spent the rest of the journey wailing in grief.

"Paul Trinder, who awoke to see the body at the end of his row, last week described the journey as “deeply disturbing”, and complained that the airline dismissed his concerns by telling him to “get over it”."

"The woman died during a nine-hour flight on a Boeing 747. Trinder was catching up on sleep when he was woken by a commotion and opened his eyes to see staff maneuvering the body into a seat. ...

[After the plane landed] " 'The police even started interviewing me as a potential witness, although I had no idea what had happened to the woman. I just kept thinking to myself: ‘I’ve paid more than £3,000 for this’, Trinder said. ..."

Major news coming next week:

In continuing expansion, "Joe Sharkey at Large" announces the opening of a new North Coast bureau.

Also, there will be an announcement of the appointment of an Ombudsman, the Rt. Rev. Parson Moratorious Mudge, in response to readers' concerns about increased frivolity, manifest disrespect to Her Majesty's Navy, and a general perceived lack of objectivity on this site. Parson Mudge's motto is "Mudge will not be muzzled!" He has been promised a free rein to address any and all infractions and/or sins by the Proprietor.

Also, more developing news from our Sao Paulo bureau.

--ends

BLIMEY, THE HORROR, THE HORROR!

One more go-around on the Hollywood Hostages because this stuff, you just can't make it up.

Pictured above is the Bishop who's the chaplain for Britain's armed forces. Seriously: Let us pray. (See second item)

Meanwhile, meet Arthur Batchelor, 20, one of the hostages who caved in so readily to Iranian terrorists before the Brits were sent home with their goody bags. In an interview in today's Daily Mirror, Seaman Batchelor described the horror he and his merry crew went through even after they compliantly did everything the terrorists told them to:

"Seaman Arthur Batchelor was singled out for torment after his captors learned he was a navigator - and mistakenly thought that meant he was in charge of his boat.

"The guards, who taunted him for his youth and called him Mr Bean after the bungling comic character, put him in plastic handcuffs and blindfolded him - then slapped him around.

"He said: 'It was beyond terrifying. They seemed to take particular pleasure in mocking me for being young. ... A guard kept flicking my neck with his index finger and thumb. I thought the worst. We've all seen the videos.'

"He added: 'I was frozen in terror and just stared into the darkness of my blindfold, I could feel the emotion welling up inside me. But I wasn't going to let them see me cry.' Once back in his cell, the emotion finally came flooding out. Arthur said: 'To be honest I cried and cried like a baby.

"'I ended up falling asleep on my cell floor. I think I blacked out. That night I slept like a log as I was exhausted from the pressure and emotionally drained and sapped of energy.'"

And as if Arthur's hideous ordeal of being taunted for his youth, being called Mr. Bean for his goofiness, and having his neck flicked with a finger weren't enough, get a load of who's being heard from now, in an inadvertent explanation of why only about 3 percent of Britons attend church. From today's Telegraph:

"The Roman Catholic bishop who oversees the armed forces has provoked fury by praising the Iranian leadership for its "forgiveness" and "act of mercy" in freeing the 15 British sailors and marines last week.

	Bishop Burns said Iran demonstrated 'faith in a forgiving God'

"The Bishop of the Forces, the Rt Rev Tom Burns, said that the religious beliefs of the Iranians had played a large part in their decision to release the hostages after holding them for more than two weeks.

"His words were echoed by a leading Anglican figure, the Right Rev Michael Nazir-Ali, the Bishop of Rochester, who said Iran had acted within the "moral and spiritual tradition of their country" and contrasted this with Britain's "`free-floating attitudes''".

--All ashore that's goin' ashore.

BRITANNIA RULE THE AIRWAVES...

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat." -- Winston Churchill, 1940


"I am the very model of a modern major general! Quick! Ring my agent!" -- Royal Navy and Royal Marines, 2007





Fifteen armed British sailors and marines get illegally captured in Iraqi waters by Iranian terrorists while a British destroyer and helicopter gunships in the area do nothing. Nor do the British warriors put up a fight. They cave in faster than a two-dollar suitcase. Meekly, they surrender. Then, in captivity, they fall all over one another confessing to crimes that were never committed, denouncing their country, praising the grinning tinpot terrorists.

The bad guys played "mind games" on them, they whimper after the terrorists release them, their propaganda value well spent. The British hostages are shown waving happily to their captors. Later, after they are back in British hands, mind you, when they were perfectly free to flip Iran the collective bird, instead they merrily display the goody bags the generous Iranians sent them off with. What fun was had by all!

Are these characters headed for courts martial, or at least a good dressing down after their ludicrous dressing up in cheap Iranian suits? Well, not exactly. It seems the British military is encouraging them to sell their heroic stories to the movies and television, and the deals are being cut even now.

From today's New York Times:

"...In a highly unusual decision, Britain’s Ministry of Defense – normally tight-lipped to say the least – acknowledged on Saturday that it had agreed for some of the sailors and marines to offer their experiences for sale to newspapers and television stations.

"Such transactions are common enough among civilians trading rights to their stories for considerable sums of money. But the notion of serving military personnel making a profit from their exploits -- particularly at a time when thousands of others serving in Iraq and Afghanistan face daily peril and sometimes death -- has reinforced previous criticism of the 15 sailors and marines for their seemingly pliant behavior towards their Iranian captors. ...

" 'The released hostages are behaving like reality TV stars,' Col. Bob Stewart, a former commander of United Nations forces in Bosnia, told the Sunday Times of London. 'I am appalled that the Ministry of Defense is encouraging them to profit in this way.'”

Papers in the UK generally were more critical of the military for putting the sailors and marines in a tough spot than of the troops for their giddy behavior. But there were some stinging remarks, and the BBC News online, for one, was among the sharpest.

Captives' media fees spark fury

Faye Turney is said to have a deal worth more than £100,000 Lt Carman speaks The Ministry of Defence's decision to allow Royal Navy personnel held captive by Iran to sell their stories has sparked anger and unease. Opposition MPs said the move was undignified while relatives of soldiers killed in Iraq have voiced opposition. Leading Seaman Faye Turney is said to have been paid a six-figure sum for her story in Monday's Sun newspaper. It came as Iran released more video of the sailors, showing them socialising and relaxing during their captivity. Iran's state-run Arabic satellite TV channel Al-Alam showed several of the sailors and marines eating at a long dining table, watching football on television and playing table tennis and chess. Iranian television released video showing the sailors relaxing The images contrasted sharply with the crew's description of their ordeal, which they say included intimidation and isolation.

Comments from the Sunday UK papers:

“…I do not blame the hostages for their apparent willingness to confess and apologise. But we had better be honest with ourselves. In no previous era - not during World War II or Korea or Suez or the Falklands - would British servicemen have behaved in such a manner. Something has changed, and it would be better to register and assimilate that change before we go charging off again in the misguided belief we are a fully-fledged world power.” -- Steven Glover, Daily Mail

“Shiny new suits, goody bags, handshakes from a head of state and smiles (almost) all round. … Horseplay between young Brits completed what might have been the end of a package tour as the 15 sailors and marines from HMS Cornwall were returned by the grace and favour of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. It was the perfect media coup for the Iranians until the almost simultaneous slaughter of four of our soldiers (two of them women) and a local interpreter burst onto our screens. The blood-spattered helmets and effects of our troops made a horrid contrast with the homecoming of our sailors. … But the overriding impression is one of intense embarrassment for this country.” -- Patrick Mercer, Independent

“Some of the sums being offered to the captives are higher than the money paid to service personnel maimed in Iraq or Afghanistan. The standard tariff for the loss of an arm is £57,500. … One of the hostages, Dean Harris, 30, an acting sergeant in the Royal Marines, told a Sunday Times reporter yesterday: “I want £70,000. That is based on what the others have told me they have been offered. I know Faye has been offered a heck more than that. I am worth it because I was one of only two who didn’t crack.” -- Sunday Times of London

“Despite the occasionally farcical nature of the crisis, this was no Navy Lark. The image of British servicemen thanking Ahmadinejad for his gracious treatment and asking for forgiveness for “apparently” trespassing will not be easy to erase, particularly in the Middle East. As one Iranian commentator said mockingly: “`Britannia really doesn’t rule the waves any more.’

“…The British showed themselves to be “Marmite-eating surrender monkeys”, said Michael Rubin, the American neoconservative and an Iran analyst. Others observed that the flowery “goody bags of dishonour” containing Persian sweets, pistachio nuts, CDs and vases, with which the servicemen returned, seemed designed to emphasise their wimpishness.” -- Sunday Times

--end

--end

%*!#&*#! YOU AND THE PLANE YOU FLEW IN ON!

Dawdling before getting down to actual work today (and still bewildered about the way those giddy British naval and marine warriors snatched by Iran and shown admiring their gift bags on release are getting a free ride as so-called heroes after kowtowing to terrorists), a few items from today's papers:

Folks, this is your captain speaking ...

(AP) -- A Northwest Airlines flight was canceled because the pilot was yelling obscenities during a cell phone conversation while people were boarding, and cursed one passenger ...

The pilot of the Las Vegas-to-Detroit flight was apparently in a heated cell phone conversation in the cockpit, then went into a lavatory, locked the door and continued the conversation ... the pilot cursed one passenger who confronted him.

Howling over the Screamer: (Shown above, AP Photo)

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — ... A suburban amusement park has gotten so many complaints from neighbors about bloodcurdling screams that it has instituted a no-shrieking rule for its scary new thrill ride, the Scandia Screamer, a gigantic, windmill-like contraption that sends people plunging 16 stories to earth at nearly 60 mph.

Riders who let out a screech — or just about any other noise — are pulled off [the ride].

"After the first complaint, our rule was 'no profanity,' " said Steve Baddley, general manager at the Scandia Family Fun Center. "Then neighbors said it wasn't just that — it was the crazy, excessive screaming. Then they said it was really all of it, the loud laughing, everything. Eventually, we said, 'Bag it, that's it — no noise.' "

...As passengers are strapped in, the operator recites this warning: "We are required to remove you from this ride if you make any noise. If you feel you might make a noise, please cover your mouth tightly with your hand ... If we hear any noise through your hand, we will remove you from the ride." ...

... Last weekend, park employees stopped the Screamer only to realize it wasn't a rider who ran afoul of the new policy, but a customer on the park's miniature golf course who howled after hitting a hole-in-one.

Most of the complaints have come from residents in a pocket of neatly landscaped homes that are separated from the 30-year-old amusement park by a 12-lane freeway. ...

--end

OTHER PEOPLE'S WEATHER?

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm holed up in Tucson, where the skies are blue, the temperature is nearly 90, the humidity is 10 percent and the cactuses are in bloom. But the reason for the bloom, as I recall, is very unusually heavy winter rains that caused a very unusual amount of flooding here in December and January, with an even more unusual snowfall (see photo of the back yard in yesterday's post) on Jan. 22 -- the first appreciable snowfall in Tucson in a generation. Meanwhile, some of the mountain and canyon recreational areas are still not fully open to the public as winter flood damage is being repaired. The pictures above were taken after January rains in Tucson.

My wife was out here for about five days but had to return home Wednesday. Everybody I talk to in New York is miserable. The daffodils came out, and freezing weather returned; it snowed a foot in New England , and light snow is predicted for New York on Easter.

While I like to joke that I wish a little of this global warming would come our way in the Northeast, this stuff really ain't funny, and I want to strangle those odious dweebs who love to belly-laugh about global warming conferences cancelled by snow.

The long awaited United Nations report on climate change is out today. I linked to it at the bottom of yesterday's post, but here it is again:

www.ipcc.ch

EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT THE WEATHER

It's snowing in the Northeast, and the calendar on my wall here in Tuscon says April 5.

Not that we have all that much to comfort us in the Southwest, where my wife and I have a hideaway. According to the Associated Press today, Richard Seager, an earth scientist from Columbia University, says the arid Southwest could soon resemble the notorious dust bowls of the 1930s Midwest, due to climate change and a lack of water.

Now, let's leave aside for a minute the question of how a desert compares with an agricultural region. Most of the water from the mountain runoff on this side of the continental divide, including the Colorado River, gets siphoned off for agriculture in California's Central Valley, and just for argument's sake, let's say I would not mind paying more for California produce if it meant the water was distributed more equitably, and if some of the nitwits who waste it were educated better about water conservation.

So don't get me started on golf courses, which Tucson has far fewer of than the Phoenix sprawl. To my mind, golf courses consume too much land in places where land is scarce and water is plentiful, and too much water in places where water is scarce and land is plentiful. I realize this could generate an argument, and perhaps a five-iron upside the head, in many a country club, but there you have it.

Meanwhile, my philosophy is, you live in the desert, you adapt, whether human or vegetable. It's going to be 100 degrees or more most days starting in June, so if you don't like the heat, go to Maine.

And please keep grass, hedges, petunias, rose bushes and deciduous trees where they belong. We have five acres of land out by the Rincons, and there isn't a blade of green grass on it or a tree taller than a 15-foot native palo verde. As to the vegetation that does exist, and there is an abundance of it, my philosophy is -- you're on your own for water. The 150-year-old sajuaros and other desert plants seem to manage just fine. In fact, they tell me that watering them would kill them. That's my kind of plant.

Tucson is not like Phoenix, where subdivisions have rolling lawns like English estates., and the importation of alien plants and flowers is so out of control that the city, once a haven for those with allergies, now has more allergy clinics per capita than any place in the United States.

Some say that, without sensible planning, Tucson is headed in Phoenix's sorry direction. Tucson native Linda Ronstadt famously decamped from town last year to relocate to San Francisco, decrying the urban sprawl that Tucson is becoming. (I give Linda one more year of San Francisco weather before she flees back to the desert.)

We'll see. Tucson still had a wild west feel to it, unlike Phoenix. There's a municipal law to regulate ambient light at night, so the stars can still be seen.

But, to get to my point, Tucson is a very good place to contemplate the reality of climate change. Last December and January, it rained so ferociously that S.U.V.'s whose drivers were foolish enough to cross running washes sometimes ended up swept away and stranded in mud 100 feet from the road. Some desert washes that hadn't seen water in 30 years became raging streams for a few hours.

And now the Sonoran desert is in bloom with cactus flowers and wildflowers. It's sunny and warm.

What happened to all that water? Some filtered down into the aquifer that is Tucson'smost precious resource besides sun, but most was lost to runoff and evaporation. (At least there is now some talk about infrastructire: reservoirs and other means to hold water that otherwise gets wasted).

But a nine-year drought continues.

And just to show you how odd this all is, have a look at these two pictures taken out back a couple of months ago on January 22. One shows the scene at 8 a.m., after a freak snowfall, the first snow accumulation in Tucson in a generation. The other was taken that very afternoon, when the temperature had risen to around 60.

And top left is what happens when you don't believe those "Do Not Cross When Road is Flooded" during monsoon season. Took that poor guy 2 days to dig his S.U.V. out.

NOTE: The most comprehensive report on global climate change ever was released today by the United Nations scientific panel on global warming. It's at
www.ipcc.ch
--end

RULE BRITANNIA! BRITANNIA RULE THE WAVES!

Am I the only one who thinks this giddy, sorry bunch, delightedly showing off the goody bags the Iranians gave them, ought to be court-martialed rather than welcomed home as conquering heroes (and heroine)?

In the month before I went to Vietnam early in 1968, I was sent to Little Creek, Virginia, where the military operated a not-publicized training program called S.E.R.E. , for survival, evasion, resistance and escape.

The idea was, you spent a week in classroom and drill-field training and then were hauled up to the barren, godforsaken mountains, assembled into platoons, and turned loose in the wilderness, where Special Forces troops hunted you down. Upon capture, you were held for days in a very realistically simulated P.O.W. camp, staffed by Special Forces and Navy Seal troops playing the roles of your captors.

They were quite good at it, wearing, as I recall, Red Chinese army gear. They hounded and pounded you, locked you in solitary, including a tin box with only a tiny air hole, and generally made you actually begin to believe you were a P.O.W. It was surreal and impressive. I saw a bird colonel cry and breakdown and "confess" when he was tossed naked into a barbed wire fence. The idea -- which infuriated me years later when I thought it through -- was to see who would break and sign confessions and under what circumstances. (Evidently, the military was still fighting the Korean War).

Some people were seriously injured in these exercises, and there are rumors that some even died.

I was given a good boot-stomping and three broken ribs after telling one red-faced goober (with breath that would, as George Carlin says, knock a buzzard off a shit wagon), where to put his confession. As I recall, the majority of us in the camp did not break, sign, cooperate or even act nice. By the end of our three days in capticity, they had so messed with our minds that any one of us would have killed any one of those bastards if we'd had the chance. We got back to civilization feeling a little proud of ourselves, though.

And now I am looking at the delirious photos of the 15 British sailors and marines, who sang and danced on command in Tehran after being shanghaied by Iranian forces who took them hostage -- the Brits did not resist in the least -- in what was quite evidently Iraqi waters, while a British destroyer stood by doing nothing. During their time as hostages, the merry little group reminded me of the Spanish Inquisition scene from Monty Python in which the elderly woman is threatened with a loaf of bread if she doesn't cooperate, which she is perfectly willing to do anyway. [Later correction: It's been pointed out to me that the Python Inquisitors actually threatened the woman with a "comfy chair."]

And so we have this photo of one of the happy ex-hostages, showing off the "goody bag" the Iranians gave him. Good freaking grief. Welcome home, boys and girls. The Coalition of the Willing salute you.

And this, from columnist Richard Littlejohn in the (c0nservative) Daily Mail of London:

"The international image of Britain as Churchillian bulldog has for ever been replaced by this bunch of hapless stooges grinning and waving for the cameras like contestants cosying up to Leslie Crowther in the final frames of The Price Is Right.

Missing you, already. If the British Commonwealth and Empire lasts for a thousand years, no one will ever claim this was their finest hour.

The game's up. Look, I don't blame the unfortunate human ingredients in this pawn cocktail. They were only obeying orders - which, ludicrously, amount to 'surrender first and apologise later.'"

And this, from Marina Hyde in the (liberal) Guardian:

"... it seems reasonable to at least wonder whatever happened to only divulging one's name, rank and number.

"Clearly that has been deemed a rather outmoded concept. According to the statements made by the crew's Captain Chris Air in yesterday afternoon's press conference, all the hostages arrived independently at the decision to cooperate fully with the Iranians, following several days of "mind games". They were then granted two hours of televised "socialising" a night, and eventually released. The world saw them thank their "fantastic" captors, and rifle through the goody bags provided by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in full view of the cameras - after [my italics] they had been committed into British naval hands. No doubt they're all being talked up for VCs by the time you read this, but it would be a tall order to sell the saga as an unalloyed success."

--end

'TEN HUT! ABOUT FACE!

It seems there has been another change of command in Brazil. The military has resumed responsibility for the unholy mess that is air traffic control in Brazil. From today's Folha, as translated by our Sao Paulo bureau chief Richard Pedicini:

Lula retreats from agreement with mutineers

President calls controllers 'irresponsible' and allows punishments; Air Force reassumes air control today

In a meeting with the commandants of the Air Force, the Army, and the Navy, president Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva said that he had reevaluated the promise to not punish the air traffic controllers who mutinied on Friday.

The government retreated, thus, from the guarantee given to the mutineers that they would not be punished. In the future, the President may give them amnesty.

With this, the Air Force accepted retaking today the control of air traffic. The officers will return to the posts of command abandoned on Saturday, in reaction to the agreement signed by Paulo Bernardo (Planning) with the sergeants.

The pretext for the retreat was the announcement of the opening of inquiries against the leaders of the mutiny by the Military Prosecutors' Office. But the motive was the alert by the commandant of the FAB, Junito Saito, that the revolt could generate a chain reaction in air control and in the other Forces.

In the meeting, Lula said he had blocked the arrest of the mutineers on Friday because he was going to the United States and had an incomplete report.

(My comment: Remember that these are the people who accused the American pilots in the Sept. 29 mid-air collision over the Amazon of "failing to ensure the safety of Brazilian skies.")

--end

'TEN HUT! DISMISSED!

Without comment:

SAO PAULO, April 1 (Reuters) - Brazil's military agreed to relinquish control of the country's air traffic control system, bowing to demands from disgruntled controllers who brought air travel to a near halt this weekend by walking off the job.

The Air Force, which has long been in charge of civil aviation in Latin America's largest nation, said in a statement late on Saturday that it would cede control to a new civilian agency that will answer to the Defense Ministry.

Under the new system, the Air Force will remain in charge of defending the country's air space from potential threats but air traffic controllers will no longer be subordinated to the military. The change will allow for higher salaries and more flexible workdays.

The decision to create an agency to oversee civil aviation follows months of chaos at Brazilian airports, where travelers have regularly been subjected to long delays and cancellations.

The crisis boiled over on Friday evening, when the government was forced to shut down all airports in the country after a group of controllers at Brasilia's military-run control center went on strike to protest poor pay and equipment safety concerns.

Air Force commanders called the protest a mutiny and threatened to jail the strikers. But President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva intervened before the controllers could be arrested, ordering his budget minister to negotiate a deal. ...

--END

THE PLANE MUTINY

Sill more trouble is roiling air travel in Brazil, as the investigation into the Sept. 29 mid-air collision drags on -- long after everybody knows what caused the horrific accident. Air-traffic controllers -- most of them military personnel -- keep sending two clear messages: 1. The air traffic control system that Brazil brashly insisted was state-of-the-art is in fact broken down, with chronically malfunctioning radar and other equipment, operated by underpaid and overworked controllers and, 2. Though all evidence known points to a series of gross errors in air-traffic control as the cause of the Sept. 29 crash over the Amazon that killed 154, the controllers want the authorities to know that they will shut the system down if blame comes their way. And so the two American pilots of the business jet that survived the collision remain on the spot.

From Brazil.com:

Air Controller's Mutiny in Brazil Shuts All Airports in the Country

By Émerson Luiz

Saturday, 31 March 2007

“Passengers stuck in Brazilian airports wait for end of negotiations An unprecedented rebellion by Brazil's air traffic controllers, most of them military, paralyzed this Friday, March 30, all 49 commercial airports in the country. According to Infraero, Brazil's airport authority, no plane was being allowed to take off. The air control towers were only letting incoming air traffic.

“The rebellious flight controllers told the Cindacta-1 (Brazilian capital Brasília central control tower) brass that their strike would continue and all incoming and outgoing traffic would stop entirely until the authorities negotiated with them. The work stoppage started at 6:44 pm in Brasília. … The conrollers’ action left thousands of passengers stranded in airports.

"The Military Public Prosecutor's Office had already issued arrest orders against 18 flight controllers, who were charged with mutiny. The Justice Military prosecutor, Ione de Souza Cruz, was on her way to make the arrests when came word that Lula had decided that they should negotiate with the insubordinate controllers.

"Flying in Brazil has been problematic since September 29 when a Boeing 737 collided with a Legacy executive jet killing all 154 passengers and crew aboard the Boeing over the Amazon rainforest. Since then Brazil has faced several chaotic situations in the airports during times of increased air traffic like All Souls Day holiday, Christmas and Carnaval.

"Defense Minister, Waldir Pires, said Friday afternoon that a democratic state could not become hostage of anybody. "There is no negotiation with the controllers," he stated at the time.

My comment: Good to see Wonderful Waldir is still making statements that are promptly contradicted.

--end

PLEASE DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER, BUT HERE'S WHAT A PRIVATE A380 WILL LOOK LIKE

Some scolds have flamed me for writing about the super-jumbo A380 being marketed as a private and/or business jet.

Kindly do not shoot the piano player ... uh, messenger.

Here are some representations of what a private A380 will look like, by way of Lufthansa Technik, the aircraft maintenance and overhaul company. The A380 costs about $310 million without cabin necessities like seats and bulkheads. For the whole nine yards of plush interior design, figure on another $100 million.

And here's another designer's rendition of space on a private A380, via smidgy.com:

http://www.smidgy.com/smidgy/2007/03/way_over_the_to.html

And another set:

http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/pics-surface-of-luxo+sport-400-million-airbus-380-private-plane-244173.php

Meanwhile, I'm headed out west, and scrambling to try to change from a middle coach seat to an aisle.

--end

PLAY BALL, FER CHRISSAKES!

As I write this, it is (according to the countdown clock on the Major League Baseball home page) 8 days, 8 hours, 7 minutes and 10 seconds away from Opening Day-- yet the sports pages are still full of pictures of basketball players jumping up in the air.

And I'm still fuming over an article yesterday on the op-ed page of the Times, in which one Shashi Tharoor, a United Nations official, sneered that cricket --cricket -- is that most sublime of sports, one well beyond the grasp of crass baseball-loving Americans. "Nothing about cricket seems suited to the American national character: its rich complexity, the infinite possibilities that could occur with each delivery of the ball, the dozen different ways of getting out, are all patterned for a society of endless forms and varieties, not of a homogenized McWorld," this poet panjandrum wrote.

Oh, that cricket, that interminable game, famously capable of being played at a competitive level even after slugging a half-dozen pink gins in the scorching sun of the old Raj?

But hold on one minute now, Shashi.

Lookit today's paper with that front-page story about the murder in Jamaica of Pakistan's cricket team coach, one Bob Woolmer, found strangled and presumed to have been whacked. Coach Woolmer is thought to have been a victim of what is described as the "dark side" of world cricket, where "huge sums of money are offered to players to throw matches."

According to the Times story by Marc Lacey, Coach Woolmer -- in the accompanying photo he is in a cricket shirt with a "Pepsi" ad splashed across his chest -- held a press conference the day before he turned up dead, at which he was asked "how his team, a perennial power that was a contender for this year's cup, managed to lose two consecutive matches, one to a weak Irish squad."

To which Coach Woolmer replied mysteriously, "I'll sleep on it and tell you tomorrow."

Tomorrow came, but the coach wasn't talking, having been found strangled in his boxer shorts.

So much for Shashi Tharoor's "rich complexity."

As to the ambassador's swooning over the "dozen different ways of getting out" in cricket, we owe a tip of the hat and a big fat stadium-organ fanfare to one Paul Sussman, of Rye Brook, N.Y., whose letter to the editor in reply to Ambassador Tharoor appears on today's Times editorial page.

Mr. Sussman writes:

"By the way, there are more than 12 ways to get out in baseball: fly out; force out with fielder tagging the base while holding the ball in advance of the runner; a strikeout (looking or swinging); on a swinging third strike, a dropped ball is thrown to first base and bag is tagged; a foul ball on a two-strike bunt; the infield fly rule; a double play; a triple play; one runner passing another runner on the base path; running outside the base path; interference with the ball while in the base path; the runner is picked off by the pitcher; the runner is cut down by the catcher while trying to steal; a caught foul tip with two strikes; the appeal play." And, the learned Mr. Sussman adds, "There are more."

In his op-ed article on Friday, Shashi Tharoor had declared of the wondrous complexity of cricket and the American disinclination to grasp it: "I have tried to explain the allure of the sport to a skeptical Yankees fan by sketching a cricket pitch on a napkin in a sports bar during World Series commercial breaks."

The fact that he wasn't found strangled in his boxer shorts out back of the bar the next day tells you all you need to know about the culture of baseball versus that of cricket.

Beneath his op-ed article, Shashi Tharoor is described as a "departing under secretary general of the United Nations."

Someone in the stands ought to holler: "See ya later, Chump! Don't let the door hit you in second base on your way out!"

--end

A WHALE OF A PLANE + ADVICE FOR THE 'NO TOILET PAPER' COUPLE

Very large. Two decks. Surprisingly quiet at takeoff and in flight. Did I say very large?

How about eight stories high, wingspan almost the length of a football field, and capable of holding 853 passengers in all-coach layout, though none of the airlines that have ordered the A380 so far are planning to configure at more than about 550, in three classes.

I was frankly surprised by the number of people who have asked me in the last few days what I thought of the first A380 overseas flight on Monday with a full planeload of passengers, on a trial run in partnership with Airbus, the manufacturer, and Lufthansa, the airline that accounts for 15 of the 156 orders for the super-jumbo plane.

Lufthansa doesn't even get its first A380 till August 2009 (Singapore Airlines will be the first airline to put one in commercial service, late this year).

So Monday's flight from Frankfurt to New York, in a plane configured with about 550 seats, was basically a dress rehearsal. The passengers included Lufthansa and Airbus employees, about 60 reporters, photographers and video people, and a handful of specially invited members of Lufthansa's top-echelon frequent-flier elite program, called Hon Circle. I talked to an Englishman on board who was a member of that select elite.

"Huns Circle?" I asked in blank astonishment when he told me about the super-elite-status program.

"No, it's Hon Circle. H-O-N, for 'honors,' " he said.

Still, you'd think the Germans would have given some thought to how that sounds in English.

Whew, O.K. then. To belong to Hon, you have to fly 600,000 miles in each two-year period. That's real flying, hon, not collecting miles by shopping with your branded credit card at Costco.

Anyway, the trip was fine. The airplane itself was, as I said, notably quiet. And big. When we were over the North Sea, a pilot came on the speaker and pointed out a 747 headed westward about a half mile off our wing. "On the left side, look at the little 747," he said.

It was hard to usefully evaluate the cabin amenities, since the plane used on Monday was outfitted with a generic design. Great first-class and business-class seats, and coach was a little above average. But the flight was a demo and usual conditions did not prevail. I mean, people from every class were wandering all over, upstairs and downstairs, often with drinks in hand. Each airline that flies an A380 will have its own new cabin design, including Lufthansa, and none of them has yet showed their plans.

I was aware of one hitch on the so-called "proving flight," and that stems from the American aviation authorities being their usual humps.

Technically, the flight was operated by Airbus, with Lufthansa along as a partner. Lufthansa pilots, with Airbus pilots in the cockpit, have flown the same A380 into other countries (on test flights without passengers) without problems. And up until Sunday, they expected to do the same on the grand entrance into the United States.

Then the F.A.A. said no, claiming the Lufthansa pilots didn't meet qualifications, apparently because Lufthansa doesn't yet have title to an A380.

Lufthansa Captain Juergen Raps was at the controls for takeoff at Frankfurt and for much of the trans-Atlantic trip. But as we approached American air space, he was required to hand the JFK -landing honors over to a veteran Airbus test pilot, Wolfgang Absmeier, who brought the beast in just in time for the second half of the noon news.

Mr. Absmeier, a former airline and military pilot, told me he thought the blocking of the Lufthansa pilot from the landing was a case of "discrimination against European pilots in the U.S." Mr. Absmeier seemed to overlook the fact that he, himself, is a European pilot, but you get the picture.

"Usually on new routes like this, one of the ideas is to get feedback from the customer pilots [in this case the Lufthansa pilots], who are fully trained on the aircraft, very experienced on the aircraft, and still the FAA did not allow them to do any takeoffs or landings in the U.S. We tried everything to get the restriction lifted," he said.

Flights on the same plane this week to Hong Kong and Europe "will be conducted with Lufthansa pilots, takeoff to landing, without any problems,” he said.

Why the refusal to let Lufthansa land the plane on U.S. soil? “I cannot say any more. You can read between the lines. Think of the letter B,” he said portentously.

Oh, right. That would be B-for-Boeing, Airbus's American nemesis, which right now is eating Airbus's lunch as A380 production continues to be plagued with wiring problems and with excess weight. Boeing is making hay selling stretched versions of its workhorse 747s (which were first introduced in 1970), and racking up orders for its long-haul 777s and to-be-delivered-late-in-2007 787 Dreamliners.

I'm not sure if protecting Boeing's interest was the reason the Lufthansa pilots couldn't land in New York, but I do think the letter B was involved. Bureaucracy.

Meanwhile, last week, you might recall, I wrote about how Los Angeles International Airport and the L.A. Mayor's office pulled a slick one, pressuring Airbus at the last minute to send an A380 (this one with a nominal Qantas crew aboard) to land at LAX at the same time as the Frankfurt-JFK flight -- in what L.A. hailed as a simultaneous bi-coastal grand reception for the super-jumbos.

The press releases they pumped out in L.A. were drafted to suggest that the west coast reception -- 100,000 people would show up, they claimed -- would be the main event, not the JFK reception. These press releases conspicuously failed to note that the LAX-bound A380 was a stripped-down plane without seats or other cabin amenities, even the more basic amenities like finished bulkheads and ceilings (I know they are properly called overheads). Not a single passenger. All it carried was a small crew.

Even though some roads near LAX were shut for the anticipated crowds, and a vast viewing area set aside (none of which occurred in New York), fewer than 1,000 people actually did show. Since LAX has no gate ready to handle the double-decker plane, it was to have sat on a taxiway for days for photo ops and "tests." Evidently the "tests" were quick, as the plane was gone almost as soon as it landed.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY, DIFFERENT: TOILET PAPER AND A CRYING PLANET ...

I have to get this off my chest. There is a provocative story in today's Times headlined, "The Year Without Toilet Paper."
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/22/garden/22impact.html?em&ex=1174708800&en=35b7d7d2fc53

The story features a New York couple -- both journalists, and he's got a book deal for the stunt, natch -- so determined to have "No Impact" on the environment that they've turned off most electrical appliances, eschewn even buses and subways (the poor woman is shown in a photograph forlornly pushing a scooter through snow) and -- get this -- sworn off the use of toilet paper for a year.

Now, I am all for reducing energy waste and coming up with sensible solutions for alternative energy sources. But there comes a point when the nuts grab the mics and it is incumbent for someone to heckle from the audience.

Hey, smug No-Toilet-Paper couple! Here's a really effective way to totally zero-out your impact on the environment: Kill yourselves!

Yeah, I know. Be nice. I'll try. I'll try.

--end

HORRAY FOR HOLLYWOOD

Stand by for the Invasion of the A380s. And for some hype that's so masterful and that it could only have originated in Los Angeles.

Some background:

Next Monday, what had started as a plan to fly one new Airbus A380 superjumbo jet from Frankfurt to New York with more than 500 passengers on board, will instead become a full-blown national flyover extravaganza to publicize the airplane, which won't enter commercial service till 2008.

As you may know, the dozen or so airlines that have ordered A380s have said they plan to fly them with between 450 and about 550 seats, typically in three cabin-class configurations. But the Airbus A380, configured in a single all-coach class, is certified to hold 853 passengers. (And no doubt the day will come when some airline will run A380s with nearly 900 passengers on board. Big leisure-travel routes between Tokyo or London and Orlando are one logical use, for example).

On the Frankfurt-Kennedy International demonstration flight Monday, most of the more than 500 passengers will be employees of Airbus and Lufthansa, the German airline that will provide a crew to operate the flight. Some reporters also will be on board. Lufthansa has ordered 15 A380s, and when Lufthansa begins commercial A380 service in 2009, Kennedy airport will be its most important U.S. hub.

Kennedy has long since completed necessary expensive renovations -- widening taxiways and building new two-story terminal gates, for example -- to accommodate the A380. So bada-bing, Airbus and Lufthansa wisely decided to fly a fully loaded A380, with meal service and all the bells and whistles, into Kennedy to show it off on a real long-haul flight in the media capital of the world. Big publicity.

Over on the West Coast, meanwhile, Los Angeles International Airport, which would logically be the key West Coast hub for airlines flying the A380 to and from Asia, has been criticized severely for not making the necessary renovations in a timely manner. LAX only recently broke ground on a $723 million modernization of its shabby international terminal. Two A380-ready gates will be part of that project. San Francisco International, LAX's rival for trans-Pacific flying, already has six.

In other words, an A380 with passengers on board cannot now use LAX, and won't be able to for some time.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I got a press release from Los Angeles two weeks ago that stated: "Simultaneously on March 19, two separate A380 aircraft will land at LAX and New York City's John F. Kennedy International Airport, allowing both coasts to catch a glimpse of the future of commercial aviation."

To quote Jon Stewart, "Whaaaat?"

I was confused till I sorted it out, with no help from the Los Angeles media, which has consistently parroted the "two A380s arriving on each coast" theme.

Turns out the Los Angeles A380, operated by a Qantas crew, won't actually have any passengers. In act, it won't even have seats or interior finishings inside. Nor will it be flying Qantas livery. "The aircraft is NOT configured or equipped for commercial passenger seating," a press release jointly issued Tuesday by Qantas, LAX and Airbus finally 'fessed up inside, way down in the text.

Here is what happened. Some time ago, Airbus said it would have liked to have brought its first long-haul, fully loaded A380 demonstration flight to LAX. But LAX lagged on getting its act together, and only managed to come up with what the Los Angeles Times described on March 1 as a "parking spot" on a ramp where the empty plane could pose for pictures after landing.

The airport, the Los Angeles mayor's office, and Qantas all sprang into action, pressuring Airbus to send a second plane out on the same day -- this one operated by Qantas and departing Airbus's manufacturing plant in Toulouse, France, for arrival at LAX at the same time as the Lufthansa-operated A380 lands at Kennedy.

Airbus -- quite reasonably -- complied. Publicity city!

Grandiose press releases followed from L.A. This now was a bi-coastal event! In Los Angeles, 100,000 people are expected to be on hand to watch the plane land, and roll over t0 its parking spot, where it will be available for photo ops.

"Being part of the A380's inaugural visit to the U.S. is a clear indication that Los Angeles is a leading international gateway and that our airport is a world-class facility," said Los Angeles Mayor Antonio R. Villaraigosa. "The A380 is at the leading edge of the future of aviation, and Los Angeles is proud to be a part of this historic moment."

The Los Angeles Times proudly noted on March 1: "Officials announced that airplane maker Airbus has changed its mind and will bring the first U.S. test flight of the world's largest plane to Los Angeles and New York on the same day this month."

Not a word, though, about the fact that, while the plane touching down at JFK will be full of passengers, the one coming to LAX will be empty.

Oh well, what the hell. Strike up the bi-coastal bands because the A380 really does constitute a new landmark in aviation.

The A380s has its critics, of course. It's years behind schedule. But all of the airlines that have made orders so far are premium international carriers with top-notch reputations for in-flight service. (No carrier in the United States has ordered an A380).

Airbus -- which has been beat up pretty badly over manufacturing delays -- has obviously been persuaded that there is an awful lot of public interest in the U.S. this new double-decker super-jumbo. So Airbus has scheduled a subsequent demonstration flight of the Lufthansa-operated A380 from Kennedy to Chicago, from where it, and another 500-plus passengers, will board for a third demonstration flight to Washington-Dulles.

A lot of people have never heard of the A380.

That changes next week. News at 6.

--end

DEEP-VEIN THROMBOSIS AND TRAVEL

I pick on Vice President Deferral Dick Cheney sometimes for being another White House warrior eager to send other people to do the fighting, while he himself wangled five deferments to avoid Vietnam service. ("I had other priorities," he was famously quoted as explaining).

But I'm sorry to hear the vice president has developed a blog clot in his lower left leg, a problem specifically known as deep-vein thrombosis. This can be a very dangerous condition, especially if a piece of the clot breaks away and migrates to the lungs, where death can be almost instantaneous through a pulmonary embolism.

Travelers, especially those middle-aged and older, should be aware of the condition, because deep vein thrombosis (called DVT) is often associated with the relative immobility imposed on the body and especially the legs by long-distance travel.

It has also been called Economy Class Syndrome because of the cramped conditions that tight seating on long-haul flights puts on the legs.

But DVD isn't associated only with coach travel.

A couple of years ago, I interviewed a former vice president, Dan Quayle, who suffers from the condition and was promoting awareness as a paid spokesman for a company that sells medication to treat it. Like a lot of people, Mr. Quayle travels in first class when he isn't flying in private jets -- and he still suffers from the condition.

Mr. Cheney, of course, travels in the splendor of a private government 747 with a bed and plenty of room to spread out. Yet he was diagnosed with a deep vein thrombosis shortly after his return recently from a grueling nine-day world trip.

Various travel sites give good advice on trying to avoid DVT problems while flying on long trips. Basically, you should get up and move around a bit from time to time (which obviously is a major challenge when you're wedged in a middle seat in coach). The primary symptoms are pain and swelling in the calf or ankle. Some travel-gear companies sell tight-fitting "flight socks" designed to keep blood from pooling in the lower leg during long flights.

www.economyclasssyndrome.net is one of the many Web sites with good advice and links.

It isn't something to fool around with, and it's very painful. We can only wish the vice president a speedy recovery.

--And note that with all those deferrals, he's luckily not a veteran, where he might have to worry about being treated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

--ends