Sunday, March 29, 2009

Dumb Ash Versus the Volcano

[Photo: Volcano Ridiculer and Boy Exorcist Bobby Jindal]

Flights to and from Alaska continue to be affected by the continuing eruptions at Mount Redoubt, about 110 miles from Anchorage.

I would hope that Louisiana's inimitable governor (and aspiring future Republican presidential candidate) Bobby Jindal has gotten down on his knees and prayed for the end of the volcanic fires and ashes, perhaps sacrificing a virgin goat in the process -- science not having been on his agenda recently when he ridiculed as wasteful and silly a provision in the stimulus package that would have spent some money on scientific research to better study patterns in volcanic eruptions.

The preternaturally grinning Jindal denies evolution and has previously reported a personal experience in casting out demons, saying he performed an exorcism on a devil-possessed friend that also cured her of cancer, yessir, did too.

(Lookit that account linked to above on the Jindal exorcism, in a Talking Points Memo from last June. Maybe I'm just an old street reporter, but I started imagining the "possessed" girl's view of the incident, as recounted in a police report on a charge of felonious assault, gang attack, imprisonment, and choking and attempted smothering "by the use of a Bible pressed to victim's face until said victim was forced to say the words "Jesus is lord.")

Anyway, I hear Jindal the devil-chaser is holding off on planning any campaign trips to the great state of Alaska till he sees if the sacrifice of the virgin goat appeases the angry Mount Redoubt Volcano god. Meanwhile, his staff is looking for a second virgin goat to sacrifice to appease the sleeping, but more proximate, Mississippi River levees god.


1 comment:

ChefNick said...

Figure it out. What is absolutely the most dangerous creature that exists on Earth?

The answer is: What do you get when you cross a weasel with a rat?

A very small religious politician.