Thursday, May 03, 2007

TRAVEL SNAPSHOTS -- FAMOUS SITES IN 'OUR NATION'S CAPITAL': THE GRAVE OF J. EDGAR HOOVER



I have been sternly reminded again that this is supposed to be a travel blog and not a place for idle political ridicule, as was reflected in my previous two posts today. Besides, there's a war on. And I have paying work to do.

And so finally today we will look at some attractions in "Our Nation's Capital," also known as "Washington, D.C.," an expensive, dirty city with some fine museums and restaurants.

There are many historical sites.

One of them is "Hoover's Grave" in the Congressional Cemetery. By the way, there is no evidence whatsoever to suggest that J. Edgar Hoover recently dug his way out of his grave and lurched zombie-like into the Pentagon to direct production of the Iraq War security booklet that is referred to in the previous post on this blog.

So don't go there expecting to take a picture of an empty grave. You will be disappointed. Behave in "Our Nation's Capital" as you would in your own home town, except be careful at night and of course bring money if you expect to get anything done.

Mr. Hoover was buried in proper gentlemen's wear. I mention Mr. Hoover's burial attire because it has been said that Mr. Hoover sometimes liked to dress in drag and prance about during his precious few hours of leisure time when he wasn't hunting down Communists, deviants, dissenters, smarty-pants Democrats and other menaces (while not ever bothering to go after the Mafia over the many decades during which it dominated American crime).

His supporters say the drag-dressing allegation is a calumny spread by deviants. And the Mafia was a myth. Mr. Hoover's pal Mr. Charles "Lucky" Luciano assured him of this. Mr. Hoover also personally directed the F.B.I. investigation into the assassination of President Kennedy, and found no evidence that the Mafia or anyone else was involved.

Not that there is anything deviant, immoral or subversive about dressing in drag if it does not interfere with your professional duties. After all, Milton Berle dressed in drag on television, and we know what Milton Berle, whom Mr. Hoover considered to be a deviant and a Red menace, is most famous for.

Mr. Hoover violently hated and persecuted homosexuals throughout his career, though he did not restrict his persecutions to gay people, of course. He was an equal-opportunity bigot.

A lifelong bachelor, he always traveled with his inseparable companion, the No. 2 man at the F.B.I., the dashing fellow-crimebuster Mr. Clyde Tolson. The two buddies are seen together in the photo at Top Left.

Mr. Tolson, who was born in Loredo, Missouri, is buried, per his request, in a grave near Mr. Hoover's. Mr. Tolson also did not climb zombie-like out of his grave and visit the Pentagon or F.B.I. headquarters at any time after his death to warn our troops in Iraq that their e-mails home were assisting subversives and adding to the media menace. This is a myth and I urge Snopes.com to get right on it.

So enjoy "Our Nation's Capital" in the glorious springtime! But remember there's a war on.

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