Rounding Up the Bloggers? (Approved Committee-Edited Draft Version)

There's a move afoot [please avoid cliches] to get [make that "require"] bloggers to join a professional association and start acting more like the corporate media. [This sounds tendentious, reword term "corporate media"]

Well, heck, [slang: avoid} the next thing you know they'll be requiring us to attend the annual White House Correspondents Dinner and chuckle at the speeches [unnecessarily tendentious. Also, some of the speeches are quite serious; hence, chuckling, as you put it, would be very inappropriate] -- and at that point I swear to you [bearing false witness here?], hang it all up [cliche, again] and find respectable employment such as passing out towels at a brothel in Tijuana. [We do not make sexist reference to brothels, or insensitive references to Mexican border towns. Also, passing out linens at such an establishment would not be "respectable" employment]

Here comes [clumsy] the news [source??] that the credentialed corporate media want us bloggers to somehow get [make that "become"] certified. Or credentialed. Or vetted. [better to use in one sentence, separated by commas] Or whatever the hell [no profanity] they do to corral [inelegant use of noun as verb] each other into those merry little groups of mutual high-fivers [slang, we don't use it] that increasingly is the over-professionalized mainstream journalistic establishment in this country. [Whew. We can't say that!]

As someone who has a foot firmly in each camp [unclear], as well as someone who has actually been to boot camp, [unclear reference: pls supply dates and discharge papers] I hereby invoke General Anthony C. McAuliffe, who sent this famous one-word reply to a German ultimatum that he surrender his troops during the Battle of the Bulge in World War II: "Nuts!" [Offensive term. Also, need comment from Gen. McAuliffe]

David Carr in the [New York] Times today summarizes a movement to form "a kind of trade association approach" that would ensure better professionalism among bloggers, especially with regard to attribution. But hell, [profanity again, we do not use it] it seems to me, once they get you into a corral it won't be long before they'll be working you to jump over those all those respectable hoops and cavaletti poles they set up. [Obscure equestrian references, please reword for the general public]

See this link on Romenesko, which also quotes a reaction by blogger Chris O’Shea at FishbowlNY: "While it’s a great idea, it’ll be preaching to the choir. Those that will listen to its ideas about ethical crediting already conduct themselves in the right way. Blogs that seedily go about linking won’t change, no matter what the CEBA comes up with." [Need comment on comment]

CEBA stands for the splendidly [that word seems out of place and tendentious] named Council on Ethical Blogging and Aggregation.

Responsible bloggers can give lessons on ethics and journalism itself to some of the more self-satisfied of the mainstream media, and require no lessons from them. [Need comment from irresponsible bloggers and Poynter Institute]

We know who we are. [unclear]

And no, Council on Ethical Blogging and Aggregation, we don't need no stinkin' badges. [Slang is never acceptable in proper writing. Also, why would "badges" be required, as press credentials are usually issued as cards?]

[Need to cut 37 lines]

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